As if a celestial event of incalculable import unfolded on the peasants of cryptoart, the almightiest of 3D cult art creators, Beeple descended from his gilded podium to our level, entered crypto art...
AND COLD COPPED MILLIONS, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Great job and bless ups all around, for thy power and thy laugh-out-louds have reverberated deeply through our tiny community.
You can freely call yourself "king" now, as you have most certainly obliterated all competition in this highly competitive cut-throat world known as the tough streets of crypto art.
NO BULLSHITTING AROUND – this straight shooter with upper mangement written all over him is here to trade art for large sums of Ethereum.
The reason this bull has two ballsacks apparently has to do with Beeple's interpretation of "The Halving" that occurs with Bitcoin approximately every 4 years, right?
As a true king though, you do not have to give back to the community and do absurd things like buy the art of your fellow artists or build anything of value in this space you just plopped into and owned.
Just sell your art and cash your checks, homey!
For now, and as a king, your ETH flows only one way and we look forward to the evermore exciting ways that you plan to extract even more while also being simultaneously and breathlessly lauded by your fans for "stretching boundaries on what is possible with NFTs."
Isn't all that stretching of the boundaries just an innovative goatse reference though?
Whatever you are here for, thank goodness you arrived when you did– we were fucking lost without you, bro.
We have been here for about 4 years doing absolutely nothing of interest to anyone nor providing any shoulders to stand on. So it's great to have you sit in our parlor like Banksy's painted elephant– your ever increasing statistics bathing the whole ecosystem in a light of fierce competition where the message is clearly that the best art brings the most money.
Thank you so much for such positive vibes and contributions all around! Thank you so fucking much, but how will we ever live up to your legendary cult status when most of us are not even part-time Bob Dobbs?
We would be lying if we said that we love you so much and so unconditionally and that you have done nothing but change our little cryptoart world for the better, and you are truly one of us. It's actually a lot more weird than that, which is unfortunate.
A rising tide lifts all boats. LOL, just kidding– it's only some boats, as usual.
Sure, some are more than willing to ride your ETH shaped phallus (on one particular platform which is the outlier of all cryptoart and brings nothing of value to the space) while barking your lastest stats on blast, but to be honest– to really work out the whispers in the room about your big ol painted elephant ass...
We don't know what to think of you, but we know it does not feel good to have the history we have all built together over these past years cast aside like it never happened. You just happened to be the harbinger of the transformation to come to cryptoart– whereby it went from something with hope, directly to traditional art world bullshit in as quickly as your editions sold out.
Hey, let's not worry about that and shoot the messenger though!
Instead, we can be friends and rally behind all of the great initiatives that you have proposed to bring our ecosystem further and celebrate your meaningful contributions to crypto art which go beyond your amazing artistic direction and execution capabilities.
Whenever those things actually occur...